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J Sex Marital Ther. 2008;34(1):31-44.

Discrepancies between sexual desire and sexual activity: gender differences and associations with relationship satisfaction.

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Center of Excellence in Behavior Genetics, Department of Psychology, Abo Akademi University, Turku, Finland.


The nature of sexual satisfaction and its relationship with relationship satisfaction was examined in a population-based Finnish sample of men and women between 33 and 43 years. Both men and women wished to experience kissing and petting, sexual fantasies, oral sex, and vaginal intercourse more often. Sexual satisfaction, defined as no discrepancy between desired frequency and actual frequency of sexual behaviors, was associated with relationship satisfaction. In both sexes, sexual satisfaction with vaginal intercourse as well as kissing and petting was positively associated with relationship satisfaction, whereas higher desired and actual frequency of masturbation were negatively associated with relationship satisfaction.

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