Thus far I have explored Mishima's traumatic childhood and the experiences leading him toward misogyny, phallic narcissism, and the drive to murder his own weakness and sexual vulnerability. Mishima suffered the extraordinary trauma of being separated from his parents and sequestered to the sickroom of a psychotic grandmother for the first twelve years of his life. Intense rage over abandonment and impingement engendered a disgust for femininity and the need to escape feminine messiness through homosexual pursuits. Mishima's entrenched feelings of shame and weakness gave rise to phallic narcissistic tendencies, as he idealized powerful men and eventually strove to become a powerful and beautiful male. In pursuing this erotic masculine image Mishima continued to fantasize about murdering his weak and shameful self-image, and commingled this sadistic impulse with fantasies of sexual merger with murdered love objects. Finally Mishima was the murderer erotically eradicating his sexual vulnerability as both subject and object. His suicide was a repetition of this erotic sadistic fantasy. In a further article I will continue the discussion by examining Mishima's fantasies of murdering beautiful and abandoning love objects. I will also address the complex nature of his ritual suicide as fantasy of rebirth, sexual merger, the murder of toxic introjects, and escape from death, decay, and regression to helpless infancy.