In their praxis, health professionals must deal with the grieving of patient, family and staff, but for the elderly anticipated grieving due to disease and the awareness of finitude can be as disturbing as the actual death of someone. This paper seeks to understand anticipated grieving in the interaction between old age and health-disease and disability processes from the viewpoint of the elderly in the community faced with their own finitude. This observational ethnographic study was conducted with 57 elderly people assisted by the Family Health Strategy. The collection and analysis of data in semi-structured interviews was based on the model of signs, meanings and actions. The final categories that were revealed were: experiences of death while alive; experiences of the elderly in health care; awareness of finitude and anticipated grieving that negate the meaning of life. In local culture aging is a disease, disability is "being unable to cope" with everyday activities, and "giving too much trouble" to others is worse than dying. The older they are, the greater the anticipated and real grieving and loss and awareness of finitude, which have been neglected in health care. Understanding this question is crucial for comprehensive and humane care of the elderly and their families.