Women, sex and marriage. Restraint as a feminine strategy

Manushi. 1997 Mar-Apr:(99):23-36.

Abstract

PIP: The expression of sexuality varies in different cultures, and most societies attempt to control sexuality through the institution of marriage. In the West, the availability of cheap, effective contraceptives separated sex from reproduction and promoted the sexual liberation of women. Today, while divorce is common, sexually liberated people nevertheless engage in a form of serial monogamy. Sexual liberation in the West causes women to be exploited by men and creates instability in nuclear families. In India, feminism is tempered by a belief that familial rights have precedence over individual rights. India women practice sexual self-denial after being widowed to protect their children and to gain power and respect in the community. The power of chastity was illustrated by Mahatma Gandhi who marshalled his spiritual forces to fight for independence. The stories of many individual women illustrate how they attain status and prestige through chastity. Other women maintain absolute marital faithfulness as a marital strategy to control wayward husbands. These women deemphasize their roles as wives and emphasize their roles as mothers. The children of such women often recognize their sacrifices and become their strongest allies. On the other hand, examples of women who have chosen sexual freedom show that such a choice places them at the mercy of men, makes them social outcasts, and causes other women to distrust them as competitors for their husbands. In patriarchal societies, women can not win if they try to mimic men's capacity for irresponsible sex. Sexual freedom can only work for women in matrilineal communities that shun marriage in favor of strong ties within a woman's natal family. Indian women rooted in the extended family enjoy the resilience and flexibility attendant upon playing a larger role than simply pleasing men. Opting for sexual restraint can be an effective though costly strategy to achieve the sympathy and support of an extended family when a man is being sexually irresponsible.

MeSH terms

  • Asia
  • Behavior
  • Culture*
  • Developing Countries
  • Economics
  • Evaluation Studies as Topic*
  • Family Planning Services
  • Feminism*
  • India
  • Marriage*
  • Personality
  • Psychology
  • Sexual Abstinence*
  • Sexual Behavior*
  • Sexuality*
  • Socioeconomic Factors
  • Women's Rights*