"It is not the death of GERD that I seek, but that it turns from its evil ways and follows the path of righteousness." The reflux world is fully aware of what GERD is and what GERD does. What the world does not know, however, is the answer to the most important yet least asked question surrounding GERD's raison-d'etre: Why is GERD here and why do we have it? What GERD is: abnormal gastric reflux into the esophagus that causes any type of mischief. What GERD does: causes discomfort and/or pain with or without destroying the mucosa; causes stricture or stenosis, preventing food from being swallowed; sets the stage for the development of esophageal adenocarcinoma; invades the surrounding lands to harass the peaceful oropharyngeal, laryngeal and broncho-pulmonary territories; reminds us that we are not only human, but that we are dust and ashes. Why GERD is here: We propose three separate and distinct etiologies of GERD, and we offer the following three hypotheses to explain why, after 1.5 million years of standing erect, we have evolved into a species (specifically Homosapiens sapiens) that is destined to live with the scourge of GERD. Hypothesis 1: congenital. The antireflux barrier, comprising the smooth-muscled lower esophageal sphincter, the skeletal-muscled right crural diaphragm and the phreno-esophageal ligament does not completely develop due to a developmental anomaly or incomplete gestation. Hypothesis 2: acute trauma: The antireflux barrier in adults suffering acute traumatic injury to the abdomen or chest is permanently disrupted by unexpected forces, such as motor vehicle accidents (with steering wheel crush impact), blows to the abdomen (from activities such as boxing, etc.), heavy lifting or moving (e.g., pianos, refrigerators) or stress positions (e.g., hand stands on parallel gym bars). The trauma creates a hiatal hernia that renders the antireflux mechanism useless and incapable of preventing GERD. Hypothesis 3: chronic trauma: The antireflux barrier in children and adults is gradually weakened over time as a result of chronic straining to defecate and straining in an unphysiologic position, both of which stem from our modern day habits of eating a low-fiber diet and living on the high-seated toilet. We suggest that the chronic traumatic hiatal hernia is (a) the cause of more than 90 percent of the GERD that stalks the Western world; (b) is a direct result of abandoning the popular and worldwide practice of squatting to socialize, eat and defecate; and (c) is our just reward for adopting the "civilized" high sitting position on chairs and modern toilets.